Commuting when pregnant

Well I just wanted to put something up about commuting when pregnant… not that this blog has very high traffic but in the hope that whoever reads it might pass on some of these issues and make people think about their actions I have spent some time putting together some thoughts and observations.

I commute using Southern Rail, transferring to Southeastern for the final leg of the journey. Journey time is a little over an hour.

My experiences to date have been quite varied but I have to say, as I am growing larger (23 weeks and counting!) I notice that people seem less willing to offer seats… which is odd.

People have been staring a lot (from the comfort of their seat!) but not wanting to be the one who takes the step of standing up and letting the pregnant lady sit down. I know it can be hard to know if someone is pregnant but really, when that person is wearing the ‘Baby on Board!’ badge that TFL dish out and looking very hot and comfortable, would it be so bad to offer? There seem to be more women than men who offer – this may be that they have been through it and know how hard it can be. Younger men and women seem utterly oblivious to anyone other than themselves and their blaring ipod/free rag/loud mobile phone conversation so there seems no hope of getting a seat from most of the people in that group. Having said that, there are exceptions to this rule that I have witnessed myself and I am loathe to make a huge sweeping statement that offends!

One hugely helpful thing is that Southern have introduced a Priority Seat system:

Priority seats can be used by anyone, but they should be given up if they’re needed more by people with disabilities, expectant mothers, elderly passengers or those carrying infants. Someone’s need for a seat may not be obvious, for example they may have a hidden disability or be in the early stages of pregnancy, it takes courage to ask someone to give up their seat so when asked please allow someone to sit down. Not everyone is comfortable with asking fellow passengers to give up a priority seat and explaining why this is necessary, so Southern is to trial a priority seat card which is designed to avoid any embarrassment in this situation

I now have my card so when the priority seats are full, I ask all eight people sat in those seats in the carriage if I can please sit down. It is quite hard to pluck up the courage to address 8 strangers, but I think it could be more awkward if you choose one person as why/how should you choose one more than the others? One guy the other day said ‘have mine, as I am getting off at the next stop’ and I was very grateful but at the same time, I did think what if you weren’t getting off, would you have kept your seat? ;-)

Just last night on the way home, I was the last to get off a Southeastern train at London Bridge. Instead of waiting for me to step off the train, I was presented with a group of about 15 people barging onto the train as I was trying to get off, bumping past me roughly, to the extent that I burst into tears afterwards. Not a nice experience.

All in all, I am trying to do what I can to protect myself and my child, as when you read reports on how commuting and stress can harm your baby, that is all the motivation you need:

Claire Friars, a midwife with Tommy's, the charity for pregnant mothers, said: "Commuting is a killer in pregnancy. Women say it is so stressful coping with the heat and being ignored on the Tube and trains. People do not offer their seat, or push past roughly hitting women's bumps. They dread it."

Experts warn stress during pregnancy increases the risk of premature birth and limited growth of the baby. Women who are anxious during conception and the earliest stages of pregnancy are at greatest risk.

Andrew Shennan, Professor of Obstetrics at St Thomas' Hospital in London, said: "Pregnant women who experience heightened levels of stress for a prolonged period are at greater risk of complications such as miscarriage and premature delivery."

So there you have it. Please offer your seat when you see a pregnant woman as she needs it more than you.

Sermon over.

UPDATE: Buses are just as bad... had to catch a no 38 on Piccadilly at about 4.30 and an absolute nightmare with people pushing to get on and off, past the bump despite my protestations!